You’re gonna get a job!

John J. Nazarian
March 20, 2008

Heigh ho!Holy Shit! Unless you’re Sir Paul’s wife, guess what — you may need to get a job! The other day in Commissioner Gordon’s Court, “The Big Div 88”, former sweethearts showed up with their lawyers and asked for a “vocational evaluation.” You can file this under OH NO! This is a process where some wingnut with a degree will give you tests and see what you are suitable for in employment. The reason you ask? Well, it is very likely that your husband or wife is sick of paying for you and your new trick to eat out at the local lobster fest and then go home for a roll in the hay! And your life as you have known it — of doing nothing and getting fatter — is over!

This does not always happen, but it is more of punch in the “snotlocker” to get you thinking clearly, and the side who suggests it pays for it most of the time. And the thought of you taking tests and being told what you are qualified for is often found to be very, very funny by the other side! Even if you have been a “hooker” for most of your life, this test giver will find a profession you are capable of doing! Maybe taking reservations at the Penninsula! That is when you can cloud the mix by feigning an illness or finding some reason why you cannot be a teacher’s assistant! “Get me an appointment with my doctor!” However, at the rate the Govinator is laying off teachers, that may not be an option in the very near future. But fear not, they will find something you can do to assist in your own support and screw up those very lazy days that you have grown fond of, and the reality that yes, you can, and yes, you will work again someday!

Yes, the support is going to be readjusted (that means you will not be getting as much as you once did) and you will be working and becoming a taxpayer again, and it is all in the game of DIVORCE!

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