What is it about women who decide “this is it!” — and then pack the bags and leave?! What the hell is wrong with you? Did you watch too many episodes of “I Love Lucy?”…you know, the one where she does the Wah Wah face and cries and takes her bags and says “I am going to my mother’s!” Are you as stupid as he thinks? If you live in an apartment, that is still your home — why leave? BUT if the family home is a condo or a single family home, DON’T YOU EVER LEAVE! We are not surrendering the fort! There are very few reasons why a girlfriend or married woman should ever leave the “FORT” — this is your biggest potential bargaining chip, and it might be all you’ve got!
Make him leave! Get him thrown out, he is the cancer that is eating and killing everything, NOT YOU! So get rid of him…I have soooo many ideas for getting rid of him, and I promise you one of them will work. If he is yelling at you and making threats…call 911, the cops have to do something. They will respond to threats, especially “terrorist threats”…yes, you have got Osama in your house and he is terrorizing you! Call the cops! All the better if he is drunk and stinking when the cops show up, believe me the cops love loudmouth, arrogant drunks! And Poof, he is out and you are in! You will need the courts to help keep it that way…some police departments can get EMERGENCY RESTRAINING ORDERS that will help in the short term. Long term, there are social organizations that can help or, if you have the money, see a Family Law Lawyer. The judge can order the soon-to-be EX to pay your lawyer…that can happen, but it may take some time.
If you are going to do this and go to war, you will need some cash. So I am going to tell you something right now, before doing anything else, get cash advances and empty the accounts if there are any. BULLETIN! He will close your credit card
account real quick once he realizes that you have woken up to the facts of your miserable existence! And that you have come to the realization that you made a huge mistake, HIM! Shutting off the credit cards is the first thing these miserable sperm donors do, with money or no money they are going to teach you a lesson! Ladies, the big word of the day is PLAN.
Remove your jewelry to a safe place that only you know about. Hell, move his “little treasures” too! (Not like that loony tune did several years ago…Lorena Bobbitt may be a hero to some of you, but I am talking about the “little treasures” that may be worth something!) We are not stealing, we are planning for war and this, too, could be a valuable bargaining chip. And always deny any accusations about you doing anything other than trying to save yourself and the children — Deny, Deny, and Deny some more! We are staying with the FORT, but he will try and do all he can to smoke you out! Be smart and don’t trust him or anyone else. The friends you thought you had when the two of you love birds were together will most likely not be your friends once this process is started…they could very well become a Trojan Horse. No, not that kind of Trojan, the one that was a “gift” filled with bad guys and rolled into the city, and then they burned that same city! Many of your so-called friends cannot be trusted. And many will enjoy watching the two of you try and gut and destroy each other! Believe me, you will say, “Damn, John was right!” I am seldom wrong when it comes to this stuff. I have seen it all!
I am digressing a little…the bottom line is: do not move out of the house or you will be in a terrible position. I had a recent client who did not take my advice, and she moved out of the family home to a rental by the beach — HUGE, BIG, DUMB mistake…let him move. You should know by now what it will take to get him so pissed that he will look forward to leaving…who cares where he goes, mom’s, a new apartment, or let him stay at the other house. Or how about his new victim? AKA the girlfriend or the boyfriend, who cares?! As long as he goes. You NEVER move (have you got that now?)! This is your house, your castle, and your very big bargaining chip. If he wants you out of the fort, then he will have to pay you for that privilege! Because once you leave, you will most likely never get back in…and that is very bad. My clients always get a nice place to live when they take my advice! And girls, that security is what counts the most.