John’s Rate-a-Judge: Kenneth Black, South District, Long Beach

If ever there was a “Rock Star” in the judicial world, it is my opinion that Judge Kenneth Black would have that title! His court is never going to be boring as long as he is sitting in the #1 spot. Judge Black has coined many expressions from the bench, and I believe that I have stolen a few in my discussions with prospective clients. “Mother Teresa does not marry Attilia the Hun” — the original version was much more colorful, this is the version I use! As I sit and have to listen to what an SOB her soon-to-be-EX “sperm donor” was, Judge Black reminds us YOU MARRIED HIM! I believe that this Judge misses nothing! Nothing! He notices every little nuance: the way the parties look, their teeth and how their lips are moving, and believe me that he will hear every word you speak (more likely, even the ones you are thinking), and you better remember that when you stroll into this courtroom! Not that this is supposed to be entertaining — it is a court of law. However, just as some lawyers are pleasant to the ear, Judge Kenneth Black will always bring a smile to my face when I hear some of his “Blackisms.” Judge Black is one of the most savvy family law judges in America today. This is another Judge that when you enter his court, and those doors close behind you, and you are sitting at the long table (with counsel, I hope), DO NOT PLAY GAMES with this guy! Be as honest as you can! Because if you aren’t, remember, “Mother Teresa……..”
Nazarian’s Rating: ****