So you know that he is screwing anything and everything and he is addicted to online porn, your relationship is on life support and you are so mad that you want to kill the S.O.B., but you can’t pull the plug! The reason is fear — fear of what so many women face and that is being alone and being devastated financially.
Here are some real concerns for anyone — though this is more female-related (once in a great while we get a husband or a boyfriend whose wife or girlfriend is giving the goods away, but not too often! Women are not whores by nature and you all know my opinion of men…. they are!).
So OK, here we go, you talk to friends, relatives, and your cat, and they all tell you to go and see a “good” divorce lawyer! This lawyer tells you all that you are going to be able to get, and then tells you to talk to me! Mr. P.I. And I, too, upon your description tell you that “junior” needs to be kicked to the curb…and then it starts. You begin to tell me how great he used to be, and how we are going to counseling.” Counseling is not going to work, so as you get off the freeway and that homeless person who is standing there, just give him or her all of the money you were going to spend on a counselor, it will do more good (counseling is good when your cat or dog dies….that was true love and a real loss!). MEN WHO CHEAT WILL NEVER STOP. Going to counseling will only tell one side or the other how they got caught and make it more difficult to catch the little scoundrel the next time!
Or this happens: you have had weeks to plan on catching him, but you call a day or two prior to him getting out of sex re-hab or drug re-hab or the trip he is coming back from and want me to pulls Fn rabbits out of my ass to see if we can catch him. Girlfriend, you don’t really want to catch him, plain and simple, because if you did, the fact is you, too, would have no life…what would you worry about? What would you talk about? What would your days be like not wondering what he is doing and with who…YOU CANNOT PULL THE PLUG!
I am not trying to beat anyone up here, but it is the same each time! Or you hire the lawyer, you hire the P.I. and we are all moving forward and billing our time. We have all of his assets tied up — art work, bank accounts — you have the cash and you have all of the property under your control and we have hidden the car or cars and the boat! And all of a sudden, he now knows you are serious and he tells you whatever it is that he thinks you need to hear, and like the poor and desperate creature you are, you call the whole thing off! Was it worth $20 or $30 thousand for the lawyers and $10 or $20 thousand for me? I have to say, I think that the answer is yes! Yes, because you have made him realize that you are serious and like that famous movie scene, with the crazy guy yelling out of the window, I am not going to take it anymore! BUT now you have set yourself up for a big problem: now he knows to make sure that if and when he decides to throw your ass off of the train, he does it right and does not leave himself open like he did when YOU filed, oh no — next time he will bury you…remember, possession is 99% of the law! You had all the marbles when you did what you did initially, and now when this goes to hell as it will, he will already know what you are capable of and girlfriend it won’t be pretty! He will beat you to the punch and what a punch it will be! I am not saying that we cannot come back and fight another day, of course you can…but had you him by the balls and you wimped out, and your hesitation is costing you.
My best advice: when you have had enough and decide to go forward…full speed ahead! Don’t stop, don’t look back, and remember what it was that got you moving in this direction to begin with! So if you can get the strength and do the all the right things, ladies pull the plug and go through with what you started….he is not worth it! However, you have to do it right and just like Pearl Harbor…bombs away!!! But PLAN and PLAN and PLAN….good planning will take you a long way when you get the strength to PULL THE PLUG!