The number of times I have been asked, “John, why are you so difficult to deal with?” My initial response is “bullshit! I am not tough to deal with at all, as long as we do it my way!” Often I speak of the fact that I was ‘unwanted’ coming into this world at birth, and wonder how close I could have been to getting flushed down a toilet. Sucked out of the womb that protected me from only god knows what. Thank God, it was the 50’s and abortions were looked upon very poorly! It is true, I was born in a medical facility for the criminally insane asylum -way out in the boondocks of Massachusetts. I am guessing it was ‘dark and cold’ outside. As luck would have it I was adopted and cared for by a loving family with more baggage and issues than likely from where I came!
As far as I can remember I was always “The problem” primarily due to my not stepping to the tune of someone else’s music. I vaguely recall walking into my third grade classroom and the teacher making a comment to ‘watch that one” as she glanced at me! I was a cute little kid, but I always thinking or day dreaming on things that were not being discussed in the classroom. The window was my friend back in those days and I just waited for the chocolate chip cookie and the little carton of milk that was given to us everyday as a snack.
As I grew older and matured, lots of things changed and the reality of who I was became very evident. John J. Nazarian was a survivor and was going to be just fine! As to success I was very successful -the most in my family. Getting back to my initial response from above is very simple, I am right most of the time and those around me are wrong. What I have just stated is not easy for most of society to swallow. Whenever I question a decision and bend to outside pressure as to the right thing to do or action to take I am most often disappointed in the result. At times I have the wisdom of almost seeing into the future. Premonitions have been a problem for me since I was a child. Seeing things or having an urge to call a friend or someone I know, comes frequently and often it is bad news on the other end of the call. But, I got the urge to call and that damn process of thought takes control.
As a child I do think I was often manipulated as adults do to kids and sure I was not fully aware of what was happening. After all, I was a child. Then it hits me, manipulation is a part of life. One thing I am very sure of is, I am ‘honorable and I am a friend’. The worst human trait is betrayal and in the same breath we can speak of disloyalty being just as terrible a human trait. (Hell remember Caesar and Christ.) For some I think that ‘disloyalty’ is genetic. Christ, I have seen it time and time again. I try my best to avoid those I see with that particular trait. At the same time I think one of the best examples of that behavior was someone who got very close to me. We will call this pitiful excuse for a human, NAT, not similar to Nat King Cole, oh no, our NAT is just NAT. Not short for Nathaniel, Nat King Cole, that man could sing.
Often it is said that for someone to affect you or screw you over they have to get close to you and then, “WHAM!” What I missed in the case of NAT was that as great as they appeared to please and do whatever was asked, there was always a price. An ability to get close and to take whatever that was being given, NAT is a “Simpleton.” My instincts sadly failed me on this one. However, as we age we lose some of our senses. Oh, I unfortunately missed the “simpleton’s” ability to betray me. This was early on and now I am fully aware of it the low life NAT is in fact, total scum! The problem is, he is a distant member of my family, as time goes on I am hoping I last long enough to watch NAT crash and burn. Remember I am seldom wrong, it will happen. One characteristic of a true “Simpleton,” is they are almost ‘puppy’ like and will snuggle up to whoever gives them access or attention, a place to feel wanted. Some call it being ‘social’ as it is important for NAT to be liked and feel wanted by anyone who opens the door. Similar to a loss puppy. Social butterfly was a term I have heard often in my years of experience in dealing with the problematic. They flutter and settle and when the wind blows they flutter only to find another place to settle till the wind returns.
Understand that I was rejected as a new born. In the case of NAT’s rejection came as a preteen and now to fill the void they admire people and things that he will never be. True to form, no matter how hard the effort is made, they cannot get close to where they want to be. Admiration, in this case, maybe for a relative that is good at almost everything they do. Even to have a great education, a strong family foundation and now a perfect wife. For our “simpleton” it is equally critical to have a girlfriend so as to mimic what he sees as a perfect life even though it is very likely not what he really wants in reality. (Issues with gender?) Unfortunately as NAT gets older, non developed abilities and opportunities are disappearing and fast. The inability to move quickly to complete a task or to take advantage of opportunity is replaced with, “Tomorrow,” and similar to “bar talk,” what is talked about in conversation has no value or worth, similar to white noise. What we see is that ‘puppy,’ so needy to be petted and cared for, even if it is really not going to end well.
My point here is that I too could very easily had become a “simpleton,” however it was not in my genetics, if you will or to be even more blunt, it was not my destiny. From my first breath, call it a holy spirit, call it ‘destiny’ or just fortune. John J. Nazarian knew he had to survive at all costs. Part of the survival is something I have sworn to and that is knowing when to duck, the ability to sense a bad situation has been a savior. The other god send is to spot people and or situations that would do harm to me. Again, remember, I came into the world as an “unwanted.” However, being fully aware is critical as one grows old and frail, and just as when I was a child, we become vulnerable again and must be aware of all dangers, especially, “Simpletons.”