Just reminiscing about all the court papers we have served all over the United States and in 99.9% we were always successful. 35 years ago I, and my two sons knew we had a real talent in getting people “served”. The most we were paid was almost $100,000.00 for a real ‘Ass-hat’ in Arizona. That was a very entertaining “serve” as the local sheriff knew my target and he and his deputies did not particularly care for him! It was also our policy to contact local law enforcement when we were in the jurisdictions we were in…. pretty simple, our targets would often call the local boys in blue with stories that they were being bothered by “unknowns” on their property or strangers were knocking on their doors. Knowing damn well why I was there. So it was great when they would call and the dispatcher or the watch commander would tell them they are “process servers, just open the door!”
On the bottom of every single page of my letterhead is a phrase, page one, “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” and on the second page, “Doing the Impossible for the Ungrateful Since 1991”. These two thoughts pretty much say it all, as to how I feel about most of the work I do. One case comes to mind back in 2007/2008; I was contacted by the office of Joseph Mannis, Lawyer. Mr. Mannis is the founding partner of Hersh Mannis LLP this is one of the most prestigious DIVORCE firms in the country.
Joe tells me that his client has been trying to serve a very wealthy real estate agent in regards to some kind of litigation. The problem is that her office is in a high rise in Century City and those being hired cannot get to her. These locations are tough to get into as you need to be cleared by minimum wage clowns in suits aka “security guards”. Almost anything you might try is pretty much stymied. Bring flowers? One of the illiterate Bozo’s will take the delivery and bring them up themselves or the office gopher will be dispatched to bring them up. This is why I have always gone to the homes of the targets I am trying to get served. Much easier and even when targets live in gated communities there is always a way to get them and we do!
It is explained to me that several other process servers have tried and all have failed. After spending a few hours in my pool enjoying country western music and a few cold adult beverages I came up with an idea! The game plan was simple, I would contact the office of the agent explaining that my employer wanted to look at one of her high dollar listings in Beverly Hills. Further, “Mr. Nazarian would be flying into Burbank on his private jet for a few hours and would she be available?” To sweeten the deal “Mr. Nazarian would like to pick her up in his limousine and they could both travel to the listing together”. Well I had barely hung up the phone when my target called me back all excited, wanting to know more about Mr. Nazarian. Heck, I love talking about myself and gave this dodging agent one hell of a story of who I was. This was one of the great “liars club” sessions. “Why run when you can walk?” This would be a case of the ‘target’ coming to me!
Not wanting to be too excited I told her we would get back to her in a few days. Well as soon as we called and made the appointment she was ready to meet her next victim, ME! The limousine was easy, as we owned 3 of them, for a few years I had a driver and my own personal private limousine, pretty cool, very Los Angeles! It was pretty simple actually, I could work and talk to clients and was billing $600.00 an hour, the billable time paid for all of it! My personal car was as comfortable as my office in Beverly Hills, all done in red leather and the best of everything was used in the build. I still have this car parked in storage on my ranch. On the way to the meeting I had Caesar stop at Nate & Al’s to pick me up a pastrami sandwich, coleslaw on the side. At the given time my long black limousine pulled up at the towers in Century City, the car had barely stopped when my target came bouncing out. Bouncing out of those big glass doors was understated, she actually trotted, all made up and looking like my perfect target! Caesar was standing by the back door and when she got to the door. I lowered my window and said to her, “You Have Been Served,” and tossed the papers at her feet. She was totally stunned, she just stared at me. I told her that I was having lunch currently and had no time to look at any property and that I appreciated her cooperation, holding my pastrami sandwich on a fresh soft kaiser roll.
Well in my billing that I submitted, it explained that a limousine was used in the service and the subject was served at her place of business, personally. Well guess what? The people I was working for asked Mr. Mannis if they had to pay for the limousine usage, imagine? Was I surprised, of course not, this is why many of these folks are so miserable. Mannis was cool, Joe is to this day a real class act, always has been. Joe said to just ignore it and of course I did. The charge as I recall was a flat rate of $7,500.00 ….. something I always kept in mind for my entire career was that I could never ever trust the clients and in some cases, the lawyers are not much better.
However for me, the lawyers we work with are highly selected by myself, most I have had 25 plus years relationships. In my 32 plus years I was blessed to have friends like Joe, Neal and Adam, to this day we are still friends and still work together, a blessing!