Courthouse ramblings with Jeff Sklan

uismaeanx
July 16, 2010

My day in court was bookended by time spent with my pal, Jeff Sklan. He is so irreverent and quick-witted that you can’t help but laugh with him, even if it is at your own expense. Jeff finds himself very entertaining and at times charming all you have to do is ask him! We met up in the Grand Street security line, which seemed to stretch all the way to the LA cathedral. “John, did you pick up a tape worm or find an amazing tailor in Rome?” was Jeff’s response upon seeing me as he had not seen me prior to my departure for Europe.

The truth is, I had lost eleven pounds on my trip to Europe recently. The food was unhealthy (and I know unhealthy), expensive and not that good, I explained. We parted ways, Jeff to his appointed rounds, and me to mine. At 2:30 or so, we met up in Judge Borenstein’s court, where a friend of his was arguing against a minor child traveling to Nicaragua to meet his new step-mother. It was an interesting hearing. The Court finally decided to allow the trip with a surety bond and strict penalties for enforcement, acts of God excepted. “What about coups d’etat ” Jeff muttered. I too wondered what about when some disgruntled General and a handful of degenerates decide to take over the airport? We both laughed so hard that the bailiff shot us the stink eye and for a moment, it was like grammar school.

I asked him sotto voce about what he had seen that morning. His reply, “Nothing that a condom couldn’t have prevented.” Also there was a little “judge gathering” for a new judge, Jeff wondered out loud if he/she would be able to read?

Someone asked me about my trip. Jeff chimed in and said , “The food really must have been bad. Nazarian lost 11 pounds when someone else was paying for his meals…” Funny. And true. So much for the Eternal City. I prefer the City of Angels.

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