As many of us to come to our ends of life or at least another day closer, some much sooner than others we all realize something, FRIENDSHIP is something that can be very ‘negotiable’ the best word is “transactional”. It is written that most friendships have a 7-10 year lifespan, oh lets get real here, many last much longer, they are just not real!
My attitude is that if I am your friend and you mine that is very special extremely special, the problem with this is that most of the time it is not real. Say something, do something or tell the truth and see how fast that ‘tide’ can turn and you learn a new word, acquaintance is what most of us end up having.
The other problem is this, I am guessing that my years as an embalmer and funeral director and having placed hundreds of “Empty Vessels” (certainly well embalmed and looking gorgeous, if it was my work and like everything I touch I took pride in pumping that juice) into caskets, those taking the dirt nap were in those containers all by themselves! Folks you came into this world alone and you will be going out the same way! Now I do give space to those who live the fantasy world of the hereafter, I am not convinced, when the lights go out, they are staying out. Just my years of experience. Having seen so much death in the course of my career and life….. Tough to be a believer when there are so many gods in the world and no matter how bad something is, “It is god’s will”…..BULLSHIT!
For years (Over 35 years) I, in fact worked with a very large DIVORCE firm in the Southern California area and it was good for BOTH OF US, through those years. Well, that “good”, it was all about the money, some good dinners and great laughs and my ability to keep some great secrets.
WARNING: IF anyone thinks that it would be fun in anyway to attempt to Play Stupid Games with myself or MY FAMILY, YOU WILL WIN STUPID PRIZES. Please I beg you to trust me on this subject, to my FUCKING GRAVE I will always be searching for fun shit to do in reference to anything I can find about you and your miserable life, of course all SAFE and LEGAL. ( I am a great teacher of life’s fun and games, have been a great student of all of the Fucks of Life).
Well recently I had the opportunity to get rid of this very large female run firm on a case that is still generating hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to this firm. I, all by myself got this firm fired, it was just a little payback if you will. The lawyer I brought in to replace “Hagatha” has billed over $200,000.00 in just a few months and (since Hagatha’s departure). Oh, did I mention that I in fact put the whole matter together, that being the removal of Hagatha and the firm? Funny right “Hagatha”? How do I keep coming up with such great material? It is easy…..
Well don’t you know there was a huge balance due, $ 196,000.00, that is a whole lotta of money…. I am sitting by the pool with my 3 big black security beasts when my cell goes off (320 pounds of fur and teeth looking at the phone and I can tell they are curious who is this?). Well it is one of the assistants to my dear client who tells me that she got a call from this BIG firm. (The flunky in the office is the husband of one of the partners, Flunkster had issues keeping a job aka unemployable so those in power saw fit to put useless in a great job at the law firm. This came directly from the horse’s mouth themselves about the useless Hubby, and if you met the poor fool you would agree, being married to the partner a match made in heaven… I cannot make this shit up. Nothing But The Truth!
Well Flunkster tells the ‘assistant’ that they need their money (The huge balance was due to the rapid departure of Hagatha and Co., Thanks to John J. Nazarian). Christ they left a case of condoms behind, they left so fast. I also told my client not to pay the ridiculous charges for services, imagine she wanted to pay it in full. LMAO!
OMG, Back to Flunkster, he tells my contact, the assistant that, “The Firm” will discount the bill to $150,000.00 if paid within a few days….. Well! I tell my contact that if they will take $150,000.00 they will take $ 100,000.00. (Original amount was $196,000.00 now we are looking at $100,000.00 ). Flunkster is given the bad news of the new offer and likely passed several small turds in rapid succession. Similar to a corn husker! Flunkster now has to tell “Hagatha” that his negotiation ability sucks just like his miserable life! ‘Unemployable’, tells my contact that he will have to check with “Hagatha” and within a few hours the answer was yes, ($96,000.00 dollar haircut ) ‘If paid by Monday’. While sunning myself by my pool, I managed to save my client $50,000.00 dollars. Imagine? Any time is a good time for a nice shave and Buzz Cut, nothing personal just transactional.
Well it is time to take a nice invigorating jacuzzi before dinner, talking about all this money has made me hungry! How much money did your firm loose today?