The Long Cause: Drooling Lawyers

I have to be honest, the Stanley Mosk is not the same as it once was for the sake of being entertained. The days of The Honorable Donna Fields Goldstein, The Honorable Amy Pellman, The Honorable Scott M. Gordon, and the King of them all, The Most Honorable Thomas Trent Lewis are all gone! Oh, not gone like GONE! No, they moved on to their rewards after a punishing assignment known as DIVORCE court….. These highly talented bench officers moved on to Childrens Court, Civil Court, Criminal Courts and one, the King of Kings of DIVORCE is, you guessed it, still in DIVORCE court.

some have only two settings on their mouth, normal and annoying...
some have only two settings on their mouth, normal and annoying…

The Honorable Thomas Trent Lewis has taken up residence at what is called Long Cause. This is where instead of clearing huge calendars every day, Judge Lewis now gets to sit and listen to, from start to finish, the misery of what is DIVORCE. Judge Lewis always gave his total attention to each case and if you think I am kidding, just try slip sliding away and see if his honor does not remind you what you said or what you put in your papers. This guy can be scary at times with his knowledge and a memory that can make you wish you had thought longer before opening your pie hole! Long cause is what this judge was meant for. He is clear, concise and moves the show along. Thus long cause, not to be mixed up with lost cause. Today I came by Judge Lewiss courtroom as I often do for certain lawyers, to listen and see and, of course, learn a little something.

There goes the courtroom...
There goes the courtroom…

As I attempt to walk in quietly into the courtroom I see Lisa Helfend Meyer is cross examining someone in the box. And who do I see? I am the walrus, Tina S. Schuchman. She gives me that little smile (as in OH SHIT!) and then leans over almost spilling her Starbucks coffee to tell someone John Nazarian is here…..gets no where. Then she gets Mark Kaplans attention, to ask the court Why is John Nazarian here?….It is a goddamn open court, that is why I am there! Christ, forget about court security, get a collar and leash and tie Tina to the post by the door!



Poor Tina really needs to tip the water bowl over and retire! Dont get me wrong here, there are DIVORCE lawyers who frankly need to stop and spend some of their millions they have made before they take a dirt nap. Department 2 often looks like the Jewish Home for the Aging. It has gotten to the point that all that is missing is a big air conditioned bus to take this crew on a bingo parlor tour up towards Reno! Half of them are dozing in their nice suits and the other half are wondering why the toast looks like a hockey puck. Drooling, that too has become fashionable with some of these high end DIVORCE lawyers. I have heard that the L.A. County Fire and Rescue may station an ambulance at the court house on busy days. Tina BTW is a damn good lawyer, but age has all of us wanting to take a nap at 2:00 P.M.


Stay tuned for the next part of the story…..

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By John Nazarian
Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
May 13, 2015
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author

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