Casa de Mierda

Forgive the lapse in recent articles, I have been a little busy filming a new project for an upcoming special for TV and, of course, my work. A few months ago I was invited to attend a wedding in Hollister, California. (well known for devastating earthquakes and plummeting home prices) Read on, it does not get better…….



Money? I have no stinkin money!
Money? I have no stinkin money!

I was told to check out a few of the local places to stay. They all looked similar, bad, so I settled in on HACIENDA DE LEAL, which is Spanish for step over here and empty your pockets, inSan Juan Bautista! The room was going to run approximately $300 a night, give or take a few pesos. Well, I booked my room with my AX card and thought all was well. Note: I should have known it was not all clear sailing when I called the first time. NO ONE answered the phone. I got a message machine and several hours later I got a call back and yes, I went forward and booked my stay. Yes, it was a warning that I chose not to heed!



They're creepy and they're kooky,  Mysterious and spooky,  source:
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky, 

As I approached 410 The Alameda, I drove by the place twice! I even drove into the parking lot. Very nice parking lot by the way, nice and clean but empty except for an older model Escalade and a party bus, both black and both sporting a logo like you might see at a 5 star hotel. Please believe me, this place is NOT a FIVE STAR anything. It would be tough to even see a star through the cloud of BULLSHIT! Here is my take. Someone with a lot of money bought an old decrepit run down motel on a stretch of highway close to a tourist destination (why I dont know, interesting but a big yawn) and put a few bucks in to clean it up. Put a few mattresses and sheets and the best part was those stupid photos on its website! The watch I was wearing and my ring, not to mention the brand new Escalade I was driving, would have been enough to pay for the remodel and all the crushed granite where a pool should have been and some left over.

Just another quiet night..
Just another quiet night..

Upon arrival, and after driving around a few more times, I found the door to the lobby, a large room that is as sparse as it gets. The young lady at the desk was very pleasant and spoke of the property as if I had just arrived at Punta Mita! The nice young lady asked if I wanted a glass of wine? I said no, as I was just wanting to relax in my $300 dollar a night room and use the amenities….there would be none! Nothing! The room was clean and very basic….the bed was nice to the eye, but NOT A $300 dollar eye! After what I was experiencing this was not good. There was a construction worker and young lady coming out of a room smoking a cigarette. How, you ask, did I know. I walked through the cloud of cigarette smoke as I walked to my Motel 6 style suite, room 21! The place is located in what looks like a depressed area. It has the feel of a quiet night in Compton, Calif.

we're only here for the treats
we’re only here for the treats

Immediately I realized this was a total waste of my money and that I was tricked, as many are by using the internet. No way what I had expected. I called AX and advised them that I had been hood winked. All the Leals needed was masks and guns, I was getting robbed by some clever photos and even more clever wording. This is soooo common today when you book on line, it is just terrible! Upon walking into the The Lobby, the same nice girl was there with Daniel and I told her that I was sorry but I would stay one night only but NO WAY two. I called and advised my friend that this was not going to work and could I change at his house in the morning?


ask me how much I love AT&T
ask me how much I love AT&T

Well good, I thought. I can get some rest, take a shower and do some phone calls! I wanted to call my doctor to check on some recent test and guess what, ATT does not have service. Oh, service came in and out but you were hard press to keep a connection. I was beside myself! I immediately realized this was all bad, in an area that is off an old highway and no phone to use in the event of an emergency!!!





Again, I made the trek to the lobby. You have to walk along the dirt garden area with some nicely placed plants. This has to be one those amenities I was sold. Something they forgot to tell me when I made reservations was to bring some wood and a blanket to send smoke signals in an attempt to communicate to others. The nice young lady this time walked away and I was left talking to Daniel. He too could not have been nicer. Daniel tells me that they are aware of the fact that phone service is bad. I asked again, for what they charge can they not have a booster to enhance phone service???? Had my cell phone worked I would have stayed, just for the night at least. Even in Rome, Mexico, France, my phone worked. Not here! For that to happen someone at Hacienda De Leal would have to have spent some money so that all those happy guest could have cell phone service. Did I mention the place was empty?

Someone has a stinky..
Someone has a stinky..

At this point I could have used a full bottle of wine not a glass. All this bullshit advertising, Leal Vineyards Property, Glass of Wine, Boutique Hotel, Latest Amenities. The funniest was, Put on your hiking shoes. Yes, to walk the local real estate looking for a phone signal! All this bullshit in the form of words and the photos on line. I swear, ALL BULLSHIT to get you in and work you for what can only be described is a ridiculous rate of $ 300.00 dollars a night. The Leal Family should be ashamed of what they are trying to pull off here. At best, it would be a $150.00 dollar a night event. At best! When you hear the name Hacienda De Leal, if the wind is right you should get a strong whiff of, you guessed it, BULLSHIT!

I offered to pay a fee for not staying and I was told by the Asst. Mgr. Daniel that it would not be necessary and that he would credit the reservation back to AX. Again, the staff could not have been nicer. This is the kind of place that you would expect an old women with bad teeth in a rocking chair, chewing tobacco asking, Did you have a nice trip?! Of course, to complete the picture would be her son dressed raggedly scratching himself and staring at your crotch!

We will now read from....zzzzz
We will now read from….zzzzz

This is one of those places that should have been torn down and made into a place to park your car, use the restroom facilities and grab a cold drink! For truckers to come and take a nap and move on down the road. Again, when you have a whole lotta of money as I am sure the owners of this property have, you think you are smart! Well, some travelers are smart too and one of my strong points is knowing the difference between BS and roses and this place is no rose garden.

My friend called me and told me to drive towards Monterey and see if I could find a more suitable place. Right about then on my radio I heard Kris Kristofferson singing Why Me, and I turned my very comfortable 2015 Escalade around and headed home as I sang along with Why me Lord.

It is a smart man that realizes that he made a mistake and fixes it as fast as he can……that was exactly what I did…….

Here is an interesting article on the hotel. Click here.

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By John Nazarian
Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
April 19, 2015
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author

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