Recently I was called by a close friend asking what I thought about Rita Cosbys witness list. What?” I say, “a list? Well yes he says, and it is quite a long one with the entire cast of characters form the Anna Nicole Saga. I am wondering to myself, why would Rita want to depose me? After all I remained silent on her book, “Once upon a time,” even though as entertaining as it was, in reference to me it was all BULLSHIT (and knowing that much for a fact, it makes one wonder about everything else between those covers)! But as long as my name is spelled right I do not get too excited and this was just another book I made it into. For as long as I have been dealing in the world of P.I.s I have often dealt with scum and lowlifes. Just as I did as a police officer, sheriffs deputy and prison guard, except I get paid better now to do it.
Now, it would have been nice if Rita had called and spoken to me in reference to “the loons” word that she took in lieu of mine, go figure. However, now I am on “the list.” Funny how time can change things, some people on that list I am a little friendly with now, though when the book came out I am not sure. A few people who I was friendly with then I am no longer, and would sooner swig swamp water than to ever have to deal with them again. Time does do this and none of this is so terribly out of the ordinary, you have to understand that initial feelings working as a P.I. or even as an arresting officer can and do change. That is called a “reality check,” and the reality was very simply that, reality as to what was happening and what side you want to find yourself on when the lights go out. Again don’t get me wrong, in the course of this charade a couple of scumbags remain just that, scumbags, and for no other reason than because from the time they were yanked out of their mother’s birth canal they were scum, and have remained just that throughout their miserable existence as they suck the life out of others on their journey to their grave.
As to Ritas book, hmmm too bad, she rushed to print and was sloppy. She was at the airport at times when she should have been at the dock. And as I have learned the hard way, a writer that rushes sometimes misses things. Ritas book could have been the real deal if she had been patient and paid attention, realized what was weak and what was strong as to her sources. But that is all behind us now and RIta is done, no one wants to deal with her and now she is going to have a party, excuse me I mean a “depo.” Either way I promise you I will have a ball, for as time has gone by I am getting all the facts and will develop my own thoughts based on facts, and a couple of people will not be too happy with those facts. Folks, remember for those who underestimate me, they do so at their own peril. This compliment was paid to me by one of this country’s top federal judges one time (he and I spent many an hour lifting weights together), and I have always kept him in very high regard and most of all he was never wrong, well at least not in making that comment.
PS: I will expect appropriate travel arrangements if I am called to New York or I won’t go……doesn’t get any simpler than that. Also, at the depo, I would expect a deli plate with all the appropriate sides from Nate and Als (breakfast faire for the morning or lunch for the afternoon). Thanks again for the potential invitation.