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Mel’s New Gibson Girl: How great thou art! – Desperate Exes | Unleashed

Mel’s New Gibson Girl: How great thou art!

Gibson Girl Oksana and Mad Mel

Mr. Gibson, I have it from very reliable sources that vodka and Russian women are tough. Both on the body and the marriage…guess you already know one of those already.

Mel and that Catholic Church in Malibu…how often have I said that “religious people” are a little, let’s say kinky…not as much as non-religious people. Must be all that on your knees, stand up, sit down, on your knees and the entire religious experience, along with a nice hefty dose of repression. I have to tell you I don’t know too much about Russian women (other than what I have been told), but I have often wondered, what was it with Jesus and all the dudes in robes and sandals?…was this not a little like an ancient “toga party?” Mr. Gibson is very much into his religion and has his own church to prove it…hmmm, I bet that ol’ confessional is busy!

Funny thing is, I was baptized a Catholic and often recall that great Frank Zappa song, Catholic Girls. Well I will tell you this, Laura Wasser (representing the soon to be Ex-Mrs. Gibson) is not a Catholic girl and will be taking huge chunks of that $900 million. Oh forgive me for I am about to sin — you know when the Cardinals pick a new Pope, and there is that puff of smoke everyone looks for? Well I think I saw a big sooty cloud coming out of Mels Big House in Malibu, could it be some of those millions going up in smoke? And I was never an alter boy…could not figure out why, hell I could ring bells and do the incense thing. Then 40 years later it hits me, I was not a cute enough…oh dont get me wrong, I was cute, just not “enough.”

And Mel, forget about denying de girlfriends, these Russians love Benjamin Franklin more than I do, and will roll on you like a Russian tank rolling over slow protestors to get to the money.

Who will pay the most for an interview, and that is when the real chit chat will occur. Hey, you are rich, you will still be rich after all this is over and the only other question is who you will retain to help in spreading your wealth around Century City…divorce is tough when you have money.

And the biggest question is, “What would Jesus do?” Well. I am not too sure about Jesus, but sure know what the lawyers are going to do.

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