This afternoon I had lunch with some friends and as always the conversation leans towards divorce and my thoughts on the subject…my thoughts on relationships are a little edgy, ya think? Even when a marriage or relationship works there is some fantasy present. That being that both parties are happy and all is just “ducky,” when in fact there are problems and they are big ones. Married people don’t like being married and they are stuck, stuck in a place many wonder how they can get out of.
There are numerous ways for successful women to have a family without being burdened with the luggage labeled “Him.” Over the years I have met with women who wanted to have a child and went looking for a sperm donor. And they wanted a child with certain characteristics, perhaps blond, maybe blue eyes, perhaps tall and even sometimes with a great learning ability. Few I would hope would want a child blond, blue eyes and dumb, right? Or how about blond, blue eyes and sneaky…hmm, maybe! I recall one incident in which the female owned a restaurant in a “gay ghetto” and found someone that looked as if he would throw a great looking kid. He was dark and handsome…I thought he was gay but what do I know. You are asking how did I know, I was there, at the set up. Women in Los Angeles and San Francisco have always had this problem, good looking guys being gay or very gay curious. But even gay males can be straight for a few minutes and be a donor I think that history has born this out to be true! I cannot go there). Well, being of a strong will she found this guy to be Mr. Right and “hooked up” and nine months later had a child…the sperm donor has no idea to this very day that he is a “daddy.” She of course never had any further contact, it was the proverbial two ships passing in the night. And the birth certificate says “unknown” where “his” name should be. How often does this go on? I think more often than you would think. Is it nice, sure unless it goes tragically wrong (I will discuss this in more detail sometime in the months to come), and going wrong can be costly and extremely damaging to those who love and care for the child. The mothers I know who have done this were very clever, almost like they disappear or throw off enough bad VooDoo so that the one night fling, “him,” gets it and realizes he can put the saddle away as there are going to be no more rides, at least on this horse! And months go by and no one knows the better…well that is, just let’s say, Hmmm sometimes.
Mommsy (being smart and manipulative) has complete control and the “donor” just thinks that he had a nice time and moved on. This can be tricky however, when a woman goes a hunting for the purpose of “mating.” It can be a little like the Black Widow or the Praying Mantis which after mating, the female turns and eats the male. Funny how at times divorce court takes on the same feeling, the grinding and crushing of peoples lives. Marriage today is scary and often short-lived…and on the other hand we all should wonder what mother nature had in mind? I often wonder if the insects above had a rush of pleasure before being ground and crushed in the jaws of “Nature’s Divorce.”