Dropped in on attorney Jeffrey Sklan last week…after putting my feet up on his antique partner’s desk, we proceeded to share our thoughts on current events. It was unanimous about David Letterman: it was handled perfectly by the comedian and whoever advises him. The story is over, except for the sentencing of the fool that tried to extort him.

The next topic was Roman Polanski. Neither of us could fathom the outpouring of indignation by his supporters, which we concurred was misplaced. Jeffrey wondered why the mother was never charged with pandering. Likewise, just when, exactly, was that (retired) district attorney lying? When he was on camera puffing up his role, or, when he recently revised his participation in the (ex parte) lobbying of Judge Rittenband? Convienently, Rittenband is dead, so we will probably never know.

” John,” he said, “The bottom line is that all of this is a distraction. Polanski made some interesting movies, but he is a puke.” Well folks, that’s as pithy as it gets. Leave it to my pal to get to the essence of the matter.

Jeffrey then told me an hysterical story, all the better because it is true . You will not read this anywhere else. An associate of his, attorney Michael Carney, was trying a criminal matter in East Los Angeles last week. Just as Carney was about to start cross examining the people’s star witness , not one, but four (4 !) district attorneys’ investigators asked him to step into an anteroom next to the trial court. Carney is 70 years old with a history of heart disease. Further, he is both a former marshal and district attorney. He thought he was going to be cuffed up by the aggressively rude investigators. “What is this all about?” he demanded.

“We need some ID, sir?”

“Why?”

“We believe you are impersonating an attorney”

“Who?”

After producing both his drivers license and California Bar card, the investigators became discouraged. Meanwhile, the jury had to take a recess after the Court was informed about the ruckus. Carney, understandably, needed some time to calm down and re-focus. So, who was he purportedly impersonating? Himself! The state bar had mistakenly listed him as recently deceased. The district attorney discovered this during the trial and called its own investigators, rather than ask Carney (or any of the judges in the building who have known him for years, including one with whom he attending the sheriff’s academy) about the obviously erroneous listing….

Apparently, someone then ribbed the deputy DA about the embarrassment that would attach if he lost a trial to a dead man…Carney, Irish sense of humor returning, then stated to the Court that if he was dead, he wanted a refund on his bar dues.

Have any of you ever noticed that the wealthy or famous get treated differently at restaurants, stores, amusement parks and yes, within the criminal justice system? (And did you know that if you are a celebrity and like Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton and other famous brands you can get 30% and more off the retail price, or even free as “swag” at festivals and media events?) All because they are rich and or famous. Seems odd, does it not, to think those with the most advantages get the biggest breaks.

Famed, acclaimed and notorious director Roman Polanski was born August 18, 1933 in Paris and grew up in Poland, the son of a Polish Jew and a Russian immigrant. His mother died in Auschwitz, he was raised by his father. It was reported that German soldiers used him for target practice, under other circumstances I would have a list of comical thoughts on this, not now. His first Hollywood hit was Rosemary’s Baby. His pregnant wife, Sharon Tate, was killed by the Manson Family. He won an Academy Award. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Polanski pleaded guilty in 1977 to a single count of unlawful sex with a minor, she was thirteen. He admitted to having given Champagne and a Qualude to a 13-year-old little girl he’d taken to his pal Jack Nicholson’s (who starred in his film Chinatown) house for a photo shoot. It was during that photo shoot that it is alleged that things got a little let’s say “sick” with the 13 year old. Put this on and take that off and that off and that off and then having sex with her, the 13 year old. Putting up a bond after his plea, Polanski fled the country before he was sentenced. The arrest warrant against him was issued in 1978….FOR HAVING SEX WITH A 13 YEAR OLD! Now, after 30 years as a free “fugitive” living the very good life in France (like Hollywood, always more tolerant of pervs, especially “artistic” ones), the law has finally caught up with him.

Oh but wait, Roman Polanski agreed to pay his sexual assault victim, Samantha Geimer, $500,000 to settle a lawsuit 15 years after he fled the United States, according to court documents provided to media outlets on Friday. It is now 30 years. She has never been paid, ah he was just messing around.

Polanski and the victim reached the deal in October 1993. The terms of the settlement were confidential, but the amount was disclosed in court documents because of a two-year struggle to get Polanski to pay….you would have thought the rich French guy would have jumped to make things better, he did not. Court records do not indicate if Polanski, now 76, ever paid. The last court filing in August 1996 shows Polanski owed Geimer $604,416.22, including interest. Polanski’s attorney, David Finkle, said he couldn’t remember details of the case and declined comment. “It’s ancient,” Finkle said, once again we see the Hollywood attitude of “what is the big deal?” Doing what he is accused of with a 13 YEAR OLD GIRL.

The big question is this folks, there are people doing hard time for being found guilty of doing a fraction of what this creep did and he should walk? What kind of message does that send? Have enough money, and you can run and keep out of reach of the jurisdiction of where you committed the crime and hope everyone forgets? He is a fugitive from justice just like all the criminals we see on America’s Most Wanted, it does not get any simpler than that.

For all those arrogant Hollywood jerks out there who have this “oh let it go, he’s a genius” attitude, one other thought I have is this: what if this was your 13 year old daughter and some “genius” Hollywood perv stuck it to her? Would your arrogance and posture be the same? And if your attitude and posture is the same then let me suggest this, let’s put some nice red lipstick on your lips, spray some cheap perfume on your sorry ass and throw you in a tank of drunks in some seedy little South of the Border town, and then discuss how you feel…hell will have a special place for people like you.

She was only 13 years old…the curtain is closing…it is now time to pay the fiddler!