It has been 20 years since I have driven a Cadillac, as you all know I love Rolls Royce and Bentley Motor Cars. I also love SUVs and nice ones, so I thought Escalade, ESV and a Platinum Edition…perfect! The following is my experience in making my purchase of a 2012 and the BULLSHIT that Cadillac calls “VIP Service.” And the guy in charge of it is none other than Tony Fusciardi, District Manager of Cadillac for this part of California…LMAO, if this guy calls and you know it is him, DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE! Here is my story!

The first time I visited a Keyes Dealership it appeared that Howard Keyes and Howard Tenenbaum had just purchased it and some of the prior “dead wood” was still present in the form of sales staff, the worst! Now let me tell you about Keyes Woodland Hills Buick GMC Cadillac! Things are very different now and it is so much better, much better. Hovik Khachekian is the man in charge of the service department and is a delight to deal with, always engaging, always dressed well and does what he says he is going to do. Hovik could end up being a General Manager I predict, he has the touch and wisdom and knows customer service. Hmmm maybe Cadillac Motor Division should make Mr. Khachekian the “District Manager”? Sam is one of the service writers and he too is a nice fellow to deal with when your car is in need of service. Howard Tenenbaum is one of the owners and is always just a phone call away, this is a huge conglomerate of dealerships (stores) if you will. As you can see when you visit Keyes Woodland Hills Buick GMC Cadillac to buy a car this place is not like it once was and I like it…you know, for me to say “I like something” is a big deal. Not easy to make John J. Nazarian “happy.”

Back to my decision, one evening I call Howard and ask who I should speak to at his Cadillac store who can help me in what I want, a 2012 Cadillac Escalade ESV, Platinum Edition. Howard tells me to ask for Dennis Bala, Dennis is the new General Manager of the dealership. I drop in one night and in about 30 minutes I am ready to roll. Easy, pleasant and again a good experience…just keep away from Fusciardi!

So I thought…enter the picture “Cadillac VIP Service,“ the only thing different with “Cadillac VIP Service” and “pig crap”…let me think, there is none!!! I call Dennis Bala and tell him that I had not driven the 2012 Escalade and would like to drive one for a few days before I take delivery of mine. Dennis trying his best to make that happen tells me about “Cadillac VIP Service” and puts me in touch with Tony Fusciardi, “District Sales Manager.” Now I am thinking perfect, a Big Shot, a Wheel, email, tony.fusciardi@cadillac.com. So I get to speak to Tony and let me say this, speaking with Mr. Fusciardi was like talking to a semi-conscious street person, reason they too could not get me a 2012 Escalade to drive! The reason that Cadillac and GM went bankrupt to begin with is directly related to people with the mentality that Mr. Fusciardi has. I cannot imagine the misery of being a Cadillac dealer and having to deal with this nitwit. Fusciardi is Cadillac’s representative aka Mr. Cadillac and he can’t get me a 2012 Escalade to drive, worse yet, I am buying one!

It was Tony Fusciardi’s idea of “VIP Service” that almost had me driving a 2012 Range Rover. I get a call from Kristy Rubi who tells me she is with “Cadillac VIP Service” and can let me “drive a 2011 Escalade Hybrid”…what? Then she tells me that is all they got and the rest is for the “writers of automotive magazines”…LMAO, good see if they are buying a 2012? Why would “Cadillac VIP” offer a car that is almost a year old to a guy like me? It was almost like they were throwing me a bone, sure, like I was a member of some third world country and was getting my first taste of “one of dem fancy automobiles with dah fancy lights” I am buying a 2012 with a 6.2 gas engine, I am looking for “gusto”…Hybrid?

Tony Fusciardi tells me when I call and ask him what happened tells me, “maybe we should have done our homework better” in reference to dealing with me, Dah! He is the district manager and cannot get a 2012 for a BUYER to drive for awhile??? Dennis Bala and Hovik Khachekian did the hard work. My question is how did Mr. Fusciardi get this position? Cadillac Motor Division, wake up, the cream did not rise to top in your selection of Mr. Fusciardi for a “district manager,” not sure I would be sleeping well at night, Mr. District Manager could not get a car for a BUYER of his divisions product to drive….bottom line is this. Cadillac was once the “Standard of the World,” there is a possibility of that title coming back, someday, maybe. There is no such thing as “Cadillac VIP Service“ is total BULLSHIT. There is no “VIP” anything for working guys like me and many of my readers. Please don’t waste your time calling Tony Fusciardi, this guy couldn’t get you a donut at Winchell’s.

PS: when I told Mr. Fusciardi that I would be driving a 2012 Range Rover he could have cared less, sure this guy is perfect for the competition. VIP Service at Cadillac is just like “Yellow Carpet” service at the local used car lot, sure, stand right here and wait, someone will “piss” on you…Bravo, Mr. Fusciardi!!!

PPS: Upon purchasing my new Escalade I was given a course in its operation by Jim MacVicar, sales consultant. Jim was patient with me and gave of his time in showing me and my son all the gizmos and gadgets this car has. Jim has been in the car business for over 14 years and was a pleasure to deal with…maybe Jim could take Mr. Fusciardi’s place, Jim understands making a BUYER happy in their purchase of a Cadillac product, thanks Jim!

©Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
November 5, 2011
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author.

Well there is always a first, a few months back I did a story on the Keyes Woodland Hills, Buick, GMC, Cadillac dealer. And said to avoid the place at all costs. Keyes has to be one of the biggest automobile dealers in the United States and maybe the world. This organization is headed by Howard Keyes and Howard Tenenbaum, and it’s impressive to see the size of it and all the different brands, Mercedes to Toyota and all in between. It became obvious to me very quickly that the Keyes organization was not happy with my experience at one of their new stores.

Now there is no way in hell they built it by having nitwits like the one I met at the Woodland Hills GMC dealer on my quest to buy a new SUV. Background, my son Chris and I drove over one day to see about buying and or ordering a new 2010 GMC Yukon 3/4 ton SUV. We got to meet “Charlie” with his less than friendly attitude and demeanor of someone with inflamed hemorrhoids and a lumpy chair cushion. He was directly responsible for Chris and me walking away from our purchase. In other words, he committed the ultimate sin as a car salesperson, he turned a “buyer” into a “shopper.” And the second biggest sin: he never followed up with any calls to see what he had done wrong in shooing us away (I had left my card). Note: Charlie is an L.A.P.D. retired officer who now works as a reserve officer, and his little office is just full of pictures of chiefs of the L.A.P.D. and other pieces of memorabilia to impress that he is either a cop “groupie” or had something to do with police work. Great pictures, well little did he know I too have pictures of me and my family having dinners with some of these people at birthdays and private BBQ’s…welcome to my world.

Anyway, when I never heard back I decided to send a letter to both Howards, Keyes and Tenenbaum, and you know what, Howard Tenenbaum himself called me to see if he could sell me a car! These two guys are “bigshots” in the world of car sales and he took the time to call me and apologized for the way Charlie had treated us. Well, when one of the owners calls and does that what do you think I did? I drove back to the dealership to see if this was for real, and we were greeted like customers and not parolees or grand theft auto suspects. As a matter of fact, we were treated like people with money to spend on a new SUV!!! The General Manager Evan Hoffman and Howard Tenenbaum sat with us and listened and took the order, and a few weeks ago the new 2010 GMC Yukon that was built to my specifications was delivered.

The whole process was simple, professional and a total pleasure, as you-know-who was not involved. Then we got to meet Oscar and Roberto, both porters who drove us and picked us up could not have been nicer. Their service vehicle to shuttle us around was a new 2010 Cadillac. When small problems surfaced as they sometimes do with any new car, they were handled by Mr. Hoffman and his team quickly and smoothly, competence does live at Keyes Woodland Hills. One of the highlights was when a young man named Lior showed my sons and me how to work all the options on this Yukon…lots of stuff. Certainly not like my 2001! The bottom line is this folks, I bought my new truck from a group of people that somehow had escaped my son and me on our first visit to Keyes Woodland Hills, and instead fell into the hands of “officer charlie” and we were handled “the old way,” you know the attitude and behavior that caused General Motors to go bankrupt. Mr. Tenenbaum along with Evan Hoffman and people like Oscar and Roberto and of course Lior are the people who will turn General Motors around. So in closing, when you visit Keyes Woodland Hills, BUICK GMC CADILLAC avoid the “substation” and get into the showroom and find Evan Hoffman and his crew will take care of your purchase.

Update: I am in contact with Mr. Howard Tenenbaum, VP & COO, Howard called me himself this afternoon and we spoke at length. Obviously, he as an owner is concerned when someone walks in and walks out and does not buy……he has made me an offer that I cannot refuse, I will sign the order on Saturday.

UPDATE 2: see the happy ending

For a a long time I have felt that the problem with the auto industry is not the products. It is the experience of having to deal with “sales people,” yes, those people who play the game of trying to sell you a car or truck. Another aspect that I find surprising is how they turn me from a “buyer” into a “shopper.” It is no wonder these dealers and the manufacturers are having a tough time, and it is right in front of them, turn these nit-wits into greeters like Walmart. Perhaps Walmart is not a good example, as they are very successful. What does buying a car have to do with DesperateExes.com? Very simple, dozens and dozens of my clients and readers have had to buy their own cars after getting rid of the former loves of their lives. And we are often asked what do I think about this car choice or that one. My readers and clients will benefit from keeping away from Keyes Woodland Hills Buick, GMC, Cadillac. They are often stressed enough and don’t need to get “smacked” trying to rebuild their lives, and having a car is critical to the rebuilding and feeling good about one’s self.

Now as many of you know I have a small collection of interesting cars, both domestic and English, all different price ranges. I buy what I want and all I expect is a reasonable deal. Most of the time I do it on line and it has always worked for me. But not so much lately, some dealers do not respond, or in the case of my most recent experience you are just dealing with a “fisher.” What I mean is this person on the internet that you are making contact with is going to hook you into coming in, and then just send you to a “sales person” on the floor when you arrive. In the past the individual online that I was speaking to or e-mailing was the person I dealt with in the purchase, thus, doing it online for the most part was not bad.

Keyes Woodland Hills Buick – GMC – Cadillac has figured a way to mess all of this up. I spoke to a nice young lady that I had contacted doing an online search for GMC Yukons. When we arrived we were shoved off to a salesman, who once he heard my mouth thought better and suggested we be given to the “Fleet guy” (see were we are going her folks?). Well “Charlie” was alright, and while sitting in an office the size of a large closet and with all his L.A.P.D. photos of himself in uniform it was obvious that he was a one time officer. “20 years“ when I asked was his response, never looking up from his keyboard. We wanted a 3/4 ton Yukon and it had to be loaded, that is how I like to buy my cars, all the bells and ringers. All those little things make fat extra profit for the dealer when you compare the aftermarket cost, but I like the factory finish. Even If I never use them, they are there for me to look at and if I want to, to enjoy. There was none on the lot as this dealership had just been taken over by Keyes and it had a pretty skinny inventory. Well “Charlie” punched all the keys and came up with a vehicle I was ready to place an order on…BUT! Ahhh the BUT!

Then “Charlie” did it, I asked, “how much over invoice,” he tells me “‘$1,000.” I tell him that I had $200 in mind. Then “Charlie” tells me, “well it is supposed to be $1,500 over.” I laugh and tell him well that is not going to happen either. Then “Charlie” tells me how tough it is to get the truck that I want, due to GM not building anything and on and on, blah blah…Now, here comes the best part folks, if I had given the $1000 over the invoice price, GM had no problem. The car was going to be easy to get! The “PROBLEM” is my friend “Charlie” and Keyes Woodland Hills, NOT GM! You see here is the rub, not only do they make money at different levels of being a dealer such as the “hold back,” but there are other incentives for a dealer to move the “units.” Now my friend “Charlie” is not going to budge, he tells me, “I will check with my manager”…that was several days ago and I have not been contacted. I almost forgot, “Charlie” was nice enough to give me a print out of the invoice and the MSRP, that being the suggested retail of the truck or “unit” as they are known. When I look at the invoice there is a $1,150.30 charge for “ADVERT/ADJUSTMENTS,“ what the hell is this? Sounds to me to be more profit being hidden in the deal. Now wait a minute, am I being told that they have spent $1,150.30 on advertising my new truck that I was attempting to place an order on??? How could they spend that much to advertise my truck, no wonder GM went broke! My point here is this folks, KEYES WOODLAND HILLS Buick, GMC, Cadillac is not, in my opinion dealing fairly and were trying to take advantage of my son and me. More likely than not I was going to be a cash buyer, just write the check or maybe, if they had some good financing I may go for 24 months, who knows? We never got that far…boy if that was not arrogance. It was either going to be “Charlie’s” way or no way. There are too many dealers still sucking wind, and GM is still not out of the woods yet, and guess what, I would guess that the owner, CEO, COO or whoever really runs these places would be happy with my encounter at Keyes Woodland Hills, Buick, GMC, Cadillac.

I mentioned to “Charlie” that we had thought of purchasing a 2010 Cadillac Escalade ESV, Platinum Edition and was promptly told by “Charlie,” “good luck, you won’t find any of them around” using that all-knowing salesman chatter and tone of voice. Well, not wanting to miss a beat I told him not to worry about them being rare and hard to find, Symes Cadillac in Pasadena has two, one of which I test drove and loved! But we are looking for a true 4 wheel drive heavy duty SUV. At this point I was hoping that “Charlie” was a better cop than he was a salesman, as he was losing us fast, real fast. This was a great learning experience for my son however. Having purchased over 45 new cars and trucks through my life it was nice for son to get a taste of the games that some dealerships will try to employ to remove your hard-earned money from your wallet. Note: Symes Cadillac was a great place to deal with and the people were friendly and at all times reasonable with us, UNLIKE Keyes Woodland Hills.

Just before GM went spinning out of control, I visited Casa De Cadillac here in the Valley and was greeted by a “salesman” who was telling me how “rare” these new cadillac XLRs were and “they were getting thousands over sticker.” I was having one of my Cadillacs worked on as the car was in need of new tires and I thought I would look at the new models. You see my friends, you go in and want to make a deal and buy a shiny new car and these greedy pigs want to make love to you with a broom stick! I say get rid of the sales people, let me deal with the factory and visit a location where I can look at or drive the vehicle I am interested in. This way people like us do not have to be insulted by people who are trying to hustle us and to some degree rip us off! And turn these “sales people” into greeters who will show you to a comfortable seating area and get you something nice to drink while you decide what the color of your new vehicle will be.