Jul
16
Fists of Fury at Stanley Mosk
Filed Under Courthouse ramblings, Humor | Leave a Comment
News Flash, Wednesday morning, July 14th, 2010, approximately 0945 hrs, Stanley Mosk Superior Court, Judge Hank Goldberg’s courtroom: Two divorce lawyers having an altercation, one grabs the hand of the other and shoves papers into it stating, “there, you have been served,” the other lawyer snaps, “don’t ever put your F’n hands on me again”. […]
Jun
23
Quiet Please…Mr. Sacks Is Sleeping!
Filed Under Humor, Lawyers | Leave a Comment
Well Well Well, the sign above Adam M. Sacks says it all…he gives a whole new meaning to being “in the sack”…”Mr. Sacks is in the sack”…LMAO
Now in all fairness, we have all been in court and have seen what looked like homeless people snoozing or street people looking for their lawyers. […]
May
13
Belated Mother’s Day
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
1.My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going […]
May
13
The Funeral
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
While leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee, a man noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a […]
Mar
7
Divorce, Indian-style
Filed Under Divorce, Humor | Leave a Comment
(But could just as well be Jewish-style, Persian-style, NBA-style, Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon-style…….)
Punjabi woman says to her mother:
“I’m divorcing Kuldip… all he wants is anal sex and my asshole is now the size of a 50 cent coin when it used to be […]
Mar
3
Jeffrey Sklan doesn’t waste a beat, even over a bite
Filed Under child support, Judges, Humor, Lawyers | Leave a Comment
Jeffrey Sklan and I had a moment to catch up at lunch the other day. The hook was, I had to sit through a sentencing on a contempt hearing he had prosecuted. The proceedings were in Judge Hank Goldberg’s courtroom. Baby Daddy had been convicted of 15 counts of failure to pay court-ordered child […]
Feb
5
We could all use a laugh…
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
Gotta love these!
I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my
annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked
why and she said, “Because . . . I’m trying to examine you.”
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then
I […]
Jan
9
Two radical Muslim terrorists boarded a flight out of London . One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in […]
Oct
6
Lamar Odom & Khloe Kardashian Pre-Nup Jockularity
Filed Under Lamar Odom, Khloe Kardashian, Pre-nup agreements, Humor | Leave a Comment
Two family lawyers for whom I don’t really care were discussing the recent nuptials of Lamar Odom and Khloe Khardashian…To them, the only interesting angle was whether the pre-nup would pass muster. Naively, I thought that if it was in writing, it would be ironclad. Apparently, not so.
“John,” they droned on, “It could be […]
Oct
5
Letterman, Polanski, and a “zombie attorney” in court!
Filed Under David Letterman, Roman Polanski, Humor, Lawyers | 1 Comment
Dropped in on attorney Jeffrey Sklan last week…after putting my feet up on his antique partner’s desk, we proceeded to share our thoughts on current events. It was unanimous about David Letterman: it was handled perfectly by the comedian and whoever advises him. The story is over, except for the sentencing of the fool that […]
Jun
18
From a reader:
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the […]
Apr
11
One of my best friends and confidants fancies himself an up and coming comic…he is funny unless you are looking at him down the barrel of a 9mm. He told me this joke about Octomom:
“This could be a new menu item at coffee shops around the country, The Octomom — 8 eggs, no […]
Feb
13
Madonna…What a friend she has in Jesus Luz!
Filed Under Moving On, Relationships, Humor | 1 Comment
Hey now, this is a Valentine’s story for you, in place of going out and blowing a wad on roses or candy (Sees is my favorite and I also do love roses). Really, who can afford all this stuff in these tough financial times…roses, candy, dinner and “toys”? Madonna, that is who! Have you all […]
Jan
22
Time for a laugh
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment
A good one from a reader…
Dear Wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and […]
Dec
11
sent from a reader with the right attitude:
‘Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.
She […]