Monitors, massages, and no happy endings

Well, I am back to one of my favorite subjects, “Visitation Monitors,” those people who are charged to monitor your visits with you and your children.  Through the years I have written stories involving a level of incompetence that could be, and in many cases is, staggering! Why is this critical part of a DIVORCE not more closely monitored by anyone?  I think that I would be a great director of “Monitors” as I would get rid of most of them for the primary reason of being useless, arrogant gas bags! (Do they keep up on training? Do they carry insurance?)

There are some agencies that do a great job and handle the huge responsibility well. Unfortunately, most are absolutely terrible.  Please keep in mind there are some “guidelines” that the court requires that those interested in becoming a monitor must follow.  I am a certified monitor and will only work on certain cases appointed by the court. I cannot, and will not, work on cases for $75-$100 per hour. Not going to be a whipping boy for that fee, trust me on that.  The DIVORCE lawyers, and those they represent love to blame the “monitors” for the psychotic behavior of their clients, and sometimes themselves. Imagine that, blaming those other than themselves!

Go ahead and scream your head off! We’re miles from where anyone can hear you!

Monitors need to be licensed and controlled by a state agency, similar to BSIS. This organization issue’s licenses to beauty shops to security agencies, from nurses to psychologist.  Monitors run around on their own doing as they see fit, and behaving according to their personal values, and it has to stop.  For many years one former deputy at the Mosk had pretty much a monopoly on the appointments from the bench and from lawyers for monitors.  Through the years I have seen the morons that many of these big agencies hire and take a piece of that action to enrich themselves, and why not? Remember, it is all about the money, DIVORCE CORP!

Recently I sat in on a case in San Diego were a monitor was allowing the monitored parent to get massages during his visitation times from a well-known porn star who also gives massages.  Keep in my mind this is supposed to be daddy and child time, right? Wrong! She, the massage lady, proudly advertised it on her website, and this guy was very wealthy, and frankly, a bit of a dip shit. (making a ton of money has very little to do with common sense, no question.) Why am I being so critical? Well, after “daddy” gets his “Rub” and the expected happy ending, if you will, this very same “massage” person took the young girl to a “private area” for her massage!  When the monitor was asked where in the house was the child taken, she was not clear exactly where in the $14,000,000.00 house the child was taken.  Miss Monitor was very clear that she was not present during the child’s massage and had no idea that this “Massage Lady” was a known and well-recognized porn star.
Note: “Monitor” the child in relationship with the parent. This monitor would have been better suited to have just left a photo of herself in the area of where the child was to be and go to dinner.  There was NO MONITORING taking place here. I swear this is the truth!

Where we scream for more than ice cream.

It got worse. During the visitations, “others” would come over and participate in “massages” and god knows what else, all under the supervision of this “monitor.”  (Monitoring a child and a parent generally involves just the two of them and a monitor) This particular monitor saw nothing wrong with additional people being present and had no idea that as a monitor, she is to be with the monitored child at ALL times.  I had videotaped this monitor leaving the child with the NCP/MP while she left the area for 15-20 minutes at a time.
Note: Not that this parent would ever do such a thing, what if he had taken upon himself to leave and go to an airport and fly away?

And then there are the “reports.” Do you realize that some of these monitors have no idea how to write a report? And if you do get a report, it could be weeks before you get it, and no one seems to care.  And how about this? When NCP/MP would leave the house, the monitor would not even report it. (so much for child and parent time) I know that this monitor really enjoyed eating pancakes and watching television, so if the parent left, I am guessing she did not care.  Upon hearing the minor child getting massages from the “creative” porn star in a “private area of the home” with no monitor present, I suggested that the local police should be called. Of course, I was overruled on that idea. And it gets even better! This “monitor” still monitors the child! The primary reason this monitor continues to be involved is a real fear, the fear that it could get worse! Some research was done by all involved and it appears that the monitor that is being used is likely one of the good ones!!! The monitors from the ‘barrel’ to pick from tend to share and interact with each other. The removal of the one assigned could get a worse result with a new one. It was this reason in all fairness that the thought of getting rid of one incompetent could really get much worse. At least the attorney’s know what they are dealing with in lieu of getting another monitor with a ‘whole new bag of ugly luggage’.

Excuse me, it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry.

A good friend of mine, Mike Hanasab, a lawyer who practices DIVORCE law here in Los Angeles, had a real nightmare with a “monitor” on a recent case.  This monitor was totally out of control, and when I spoke to the monitored parent, it got worse. The monitored parent told me that the monitor had said that if “You don’t feed me there will be no visit.” Frankly, I have no reason not to believe this parent.  The monitor made other threatening comments as to the “monitoring,” and was obviously not realizing that her job was to “monitor,” not eat and enjoy a good book while supposedly “monitoring.”  I remember one time I watched an old bag, aka “monitor,” that was either on her cell phone and or napping in the morning sun! I have pictures! Note: I just recalled it was years ago and it involved Mike Hanassab’s office!

In defense of monitors, it is a shame, too, that they are often the targets of abuse by screwed up parents and or the lawyers that do their bidding.  Sure, you are a miserable custodial parent and want so bad to screw with your former X while he or she tries and have a visit with the couples’ child. The only weapon you have at times is the monitor, who is to be “neutral” and has no fat in the game. However, it would appear that it becomes very evident that the “good guy” does not always win in the world of DIVORCE. And the “good” parent does not always get the “meal ticket.” There I go again; I meant to say the “child.”  Once again, it is all about the money, and having monitors assigned can be an added cost. And I need to be clear, a cost and service that is seriously needed more often than not. A service that is also abused by the litigants to try and get the “boot” back on the neck of one or the other. After all, it is DIVORCE and not being honest is as acceptable as trying to stiff your lawyer.

Useful idiots galore.

God help the poor monitor that can’t seem to find any problems with the visit or the interaction with dad or mom with their child. Then the bullshit starts, with the attorney leading the charge. “Get rid of the monitor,” “We need to find another one that will do “our bidding.” And the monitor is terminated, and a new one is found. They go to court and blow smoke up the robe of the bench officer. Lawyers and their clients will twist and write a great yarn as to how bad the monitor is. After all, it is only a monitor, get a new one even though the monitor that is getting terminated is doing a great job. A word that needs clarification is “neutrality,” and most monitors understand that. Not all, but most.  It is the parents who try to manipulate the lawyers and the court. Why should a “monitor” be exempt from these very same attacks?

Monitors need to get their acts together. Get more oversight on those that work at being a monitor and recognition as true professionals.  Many monitors make a difference, do great work, write legible reports, tell the truth, and try to do good. Most important of all is to remain “Neutral and fair,” and not add to the stress of the parent that is having to be monitored. Just another aspect to those who find themselves in the “Twilight Zone” also known as DIVORCE COURT.



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By John Nazarian
©Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
July 16, 2018
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author

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