Oh Crap

Recently something was brought to my attention about some events that took place in the Honorable Christine Byrd’s courtroom, 65. Some present told me that it almost resembled, and sounded like, a “logging operation.” There was some serious chopping and trimming going on on this day. At one point towards the end of the hearing it sounded like a “redwood” had came crashing down right there in Dept. 65. When I say “logging operation,” it was all there, the only thing missing was the smell of bacon and beans cooking on the fire.



These are “special” brownies…

Now I know that Judge Christine Byrd has quite frankly a “0” tolerance for any shenanigans of any kind, whether you have a license to practice law or are a pro-per trying to save some money. Let me expand on this a little more. Mr. Lawyer, or Mr. or Mrs. litigant, do yourselves a favor, Do not bring “bullshit” to Judge Byrd’s little domain in the hopes she will believe that it is “Roses”….not going to work. And if you get caught, not even the good lord will be able to throw some blessing around 65 and make it better.

Well, on one side of this “logging operation” is Mark V. Kaplan, Esquire, from the Law Offices of Schuchman & Kaplan. Mr. Kaplan is a lawyer that I really do enjoy/ However, when he “steps in it,” he does so with both feet. Going back a little I can’t see Mark ever wearing “logging boots” either. Not this Trope & Trope graduates style. Maybe that is why things went poorly. Poorly? Well, I am not sure but that big tree he was chopping so diligently on his side pretty much fell on him and his client, I was told. Mr. Kaplan was representing the “female” component of this duo. Sure, she was the one with the big box of “bullshit” labeled “Roses.” Roses fresh from Columbia, so the box was labeled. Nice, right? Wrong!

Tell us, what is your secret?

On the other side of this big ass Redwood Tree was none other than Tigran Palyan, Esquire, from Palyan Law Offices. “Eye of the Tigran.” Note: recently we posted a story on DESPERATEEXES.com, check it out. Well back to the “camp.” Tigran is also chopping on this tree, and sometimes being faster is not always good. Kaplan was doing good! Mr. Palyan was representing “Male” component of this “logging competition.” Sitting directly in front of the two lawyers, watching and listening, is The Honorable One, Judge Christine Byrd. I was not present but I was told she was not being entertained at all by what she was seeing and hearing. As they say in the movies, it was becoming an “Oh Oh” moment.

Well when Mr. Kaplan walked into the Dept. 65, his client, the “Female,” was getting $3,500 a month, nice! (give or take a few dollars) Mr. Kaplan was asking for over $100,000.00 in fees and wanted another huge bag of money for “forensic” accounting! LMAO, this is going to get so bad! Well, when Mr. Kaplan’s “Rose peddler” filled out her “I&E,” she showed “zero” income (everybody lies and seldom get caught, this was going to change very shortly) Poor thing! Oh, but then that “Redwood” began to groan and was cracking and it was going to fall! All that lumber that tree would provide, it was going to be huge. “Wood for everyone!” Well, unknown to Mr. Kaplan, I am assuming, Mr. Palyan presents to the court a document that was a subpoena from a loan application. Poor “Female Rose Peddler” had to have been denied a loan. After all, she had no money…..right?

They got the wood…

Well, Mr. Palyan’s document showed that “The Rose peddler” does good, real good, peddling those damn roses. $7,000 plus a month. (we are told there was even pay stubs attached) * Note my figures on the dollars may be off a little, so please don’t hold me to that number, but the facts are accurate to the best of my contacts) All of this was shown on a loan application that was discovered by Palyan’s side……Well, that damn tree that was crackling and groaning fell right over on Mr. Kaplan and his client! The odd thing too was the strong odor of bullshit, but the “Roses?” And all that beautiful wood, was splintered and shattered. No big payday for this logging operation, not today anyways.

Well, the fire went out, bacon and beans all over the place! Kaplan was not looking good and the “Rose Peddler” looked worse! The Honorable Judge Christine Byrd also could now see that there were no “Roses!” Mr. Kaplan, on his request for fees, was given around $14,000.00, not $100,000.00. Forensic Accountants got zero and “The Rose peddler” walked away, well actually limped, with around $1,700.00! This was a huge win for Mr. Palyan’s side and a terrible loss for Mr. Kaplan. Mark my words, if you think this is going to keep Mark Vincent Kaplan down? Not likely, he is as resilient as the ever ready bunny rabbit. Mark will be back with a new ax in no time. And there is no doubt the next tree will fall the other way and there will be wonderful lumber for someone to live big!

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By John Nazarian
©Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
June 9, 2017
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author

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