The Jurassic Jews

Most of my clients are motivated by results and could care less about costs, that has worked for us for over 21 years. All the nasty comments and ridicule frankly has made us even more money than I could have ever thought. People like edgy private investigators and security specialist, they just do. The same can be said for successful DIVORCE lawyers. Who cares about costs? Bring me home some bacon! And we do it all within the guidelines of the law!

Well, guess what. Lots of people like their DIVORCE lawyers the same way. Ever heard of The Jurassic Jews? No, please don’t run to your collection of “Jurassic Park” DVD’s, they did not star in any of those movies. These carnivores chew, munch, crunch and stomp in the DIVORCE courts of these United States. And I am very serious, this is a serious bunch of lawyers who happen to be Jewish and can do some serious damage, depending on who hires them first. This is not a crew that you will get “Fletched,” as in one of our previous stories. All that client got was a bill and it was not tall, dark and handsome. These lawyers are serious, very serious, and you better have the “numbers” to play. And they do it all working within the circumstances they are thrown into. The following is a true accounting of a very recent case. Most of what is here was generated by a very happy client with a little Nazarian zing for laughs.

Velisaraptor

Velisaraptor

One of Lisa Helfend Meyers clients recently came up with a name for Ms. Meyers and a few of her “krew.” This case took place in Orange County, California. Lisa had a client that was getting buried, then dug up and buried again, by her soon to be X and his lawyer, this was just for sport. Well in the end, this is what happened, $100,000.00 a month, TAX FREE and almost $3,000,000 to warm the coffers immediately. Folks, this is the result many shoot for and walk away with a limp from blowing ones tootsies off. And please don’t forget, this is just a warm up. There seems to have been some shenanigans being played with the DNA of some Benjamin’s. And you guessed it, one of the Jurassic Jews are now sitting on it.

SUPER-FELICIASAURUS REX

SUPER-FELICIASAURUS REX

Back to The Jurassic Jews. This client was so thrilled, as she should be, that she decided to give Lisa, Felicia Meyers, Partner and Marc Garelick who is the lawyer in charge of the Orange County Office, a change of name and made comparisons to some “stompers.” If you don’t know who Marc Garelick, Esquire is, you need to leave your cave and look towards the sky. Marc is the go to guy in the current Orange County, California DIVORCE scene. Don’t think so? Go back to your cave, and don’t forget your flashlight. Marc Garelick is one of the biggest names in OC, just sit back and be quiet with amazement and watch……well back to Jurassic Jews.

 

GARELLIOPLEURODON

GARELLIOPLEURODON

What we have developing in the lab is this. Lisa Helfend Meyer, the leader of this “krew” was given the moniker of “VELISARAPTOR,” an honest representation of velociraptor. Not to be out done was Felicia Meyers, Partner. For those of you that have gone up against Ms. Meyers, this experience is never ever going to be a day at the beach, for that matter any setting will make you wonder why you crossed her path. Well, the client decided to give the moniker “SUPER-FELICIASAURUS REX” (genetically altered indominus rex). And we have the best for last. Marc Garelick was blessed with two potential “monikers,” MARCADACTYL or GARADACTYL (both pterodactyls), or my favorite…. and the one I think fits Mr. Garelick like a smooth glove….is GARELLIOPLEURODON (gigantic aquatic crocodile). Here we have the three Jurassic Jews.

Congrats to the three of these incredible lawyers. Lisa Helfend Meyer, the founder, is well known as one of the best lawyers in the United States for DIVORCE law. Another amazing talent of Lisa’s is picking people who can meet her standards, and thus you have, Meyer, Olson, Lowy & Meyers……step back or get crushed

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By John Nazarian
©Straight Talk with John J. Nazarian, Private Investigator
February 14, 2016
All Rights Reserved, do not reproduce in whole or in part without the express written consent of the author

One Response to The Jurassic Jews

  1. Lisa Meyer says:

    I can’t stop laughing. On my way to the tar pits……….I mean 111 north hill.

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