Judge Amy Pellman dropkicks the two-step

After seeing Laurel and Hardy on Monday I got away from the craziness that comes with famous dead people and headed for higher ground. Well let me tell you, I stopped by the Honorable Amy Pellman, Judge, department 65. Action for me is judges being just that — judges — and liars, excuse me, I mean people who sit before the judge and tell their sad stories, true or not? Who can ever tell, after awhile it is like being a parent or an old copper who has heard so much crap on a daily basis that even before the offender opens their pie hole you know they are liars.

I arrived mid-morning and Judge Pellman was looking fresh and with her red stripe collar showing over her black robe was looking youthful and sharp. I have to tell you that for anyone to have to sit and listen to divorce people wanting to get through the process for 5 minutes can make you want to grind your teeth. These judges who handle family law, aka DIVORCE, are not paid enough nor am I for the constant attack on our common sense. It was an amazing time in Judge Pellman’s court, for me it was a long time since I visited her court and today she was being Judge Pellman! She had a Big Fat Liar in her sights and she was not going to be playing anymore games with him or his lawyer. Talk about interesting, here was the “doctor” who was just “broke” and had already paid over $500,000 in legal fees, investigative fees, accounting fees and only god knows what else…But not one cent for child support. This guy had performed the now famous “Persian two step.” For those of you who do not know what this is well let me explain, there are other versions of the two step, but this one is one of the best. That being said, you marry a doctor or a wealthy business man, so you think. Then one day you say to yourself, “Self, I have had it,” and you go and visit Lisa Meyer, Sorrell Trope, or Robert M. Cohen and you file those divorce papers. Then one night as you lie in your bed thinking of what a great life you will have you hear music, it sounds like a waltz but you soon realize it is the “two step.” Your husband is broke, the nice car is in his father’s name, and the second on the house is being held by your mother-in-law…..his mom! Then you find out that the bank accounts are empty and all the checks are being written by his mommy and daddy, they are protecting there little boy from you, your lawyer and the courts. This is the famous “Persian two step.” And if he can pull this off long enough and not get caught by a good P.I. or a judge who knows the games, and most of them do, he has the chance of smoking you out.

Judge Pellman busts one over this guy’s head by telling him that “not to pay child support for five years” was unconscionable and she has had enough. She asks Da Doc’s lawyer, “how many days in a week?”…I felt the floor shake, Doc’s lawyer also is shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Doc is moving like he caught a little skin in his zipper. Talking, whispering, his mother aka “money bags” (she is worth millions) is trying to get the deputy to pass her “boy” a note. Moms knows her boy is hanging in the ropes and Judge Pellman is about to ring the lawyers’ bells too. Junior had been taking some of the days that were allowed to his ex wife’s time. Sure the doc is broke and the last time I checked lawyers dont work for free, especially the one representing the doctor. It is simple folks, you want to totally screw over the X-wifee all you do is get rid of all your assets over the years and you are lucky to have parents or other relatives, sisters too are common, who will also lie and conspire to hide your money you go to court and you try and tell the judge or anyone else that will listen that you have no more money, BULLSHIT! And if these judges could lock these jerks up in jail we would see how fast assets would resurface, but they do not. The problem with this is that it is bringing some courts to almost complete stand stills….back and fourth they go. It is great for the lawyers to fight these cases as it keeps the lights on and people answering the phones, people like the Doc do not pay the lawyers, it is parents or friends who will pay, remember he is “broke.” There is a solution, you “join” these people and then you can go after their money or assets. It is almost as if you were married to them and after all they are a part of this conspiracy to screw you so “join” them!

It is now almost 4:30 and the wear and tear is showing on Judge Pellman’s face. To reach the level of a Superior Court Judge is one heck of an achievement and the position has it all, prestige, power and a salary that is not bad, but certainly not enough. Often I think of the judges that my dad had for friends in Boston and their very special license plates that told any law enforcement officer with a pen or a red light to take his concerns someplace else. These were tough old coots, but when I watch many of these judges in family law courts in L.A. what comes through is the compassion and the need to do right.

Judge Pellman made it very clear to another couple who could not get the point that the parents’ concerns and needs were not the primary issue, at least not in Dept. 65. Judge Pellman tells the couple, “This is a child-centered court “ and “not a parent centered court.” Judge Pellman has a very engaging smile and looks to be athletic, not having seen her but a few times without her judicial robes. This was a long and tough Monday for Judge Pellman. As an observer, I was beyond impressed with Judge Pellman as she informed both sides in the “I am a doctor and I am broke” case that all of this craziness was going to come to a much quicker end than either party could imagine.